Bridge of Sighs Venice, Italy

A long time ago, I stood in front of the Bridge of Sighs in Venice. I was breathing...naturally...and just wondering about all the aspects of my life. Am I happy? What do you want from me? What do I want from you? What do I want out of this? And so on...

I thought about the prisoners passing through the bridge...and wondered about all the things that one can sigh about:

1) Anticipating something bad
2) Something bad happened
3) Wishing something good happened
4) Remembering something good happened (past tense)
5) Something is finally over
6) Wishing something never happened

Today, I'm sighing because I'm finally done studying for the GMAT. That took such a huge chunk of my life...and I think in the long run it will all make sense why I did it. Josh pointed out today that I just like challenging myself to see if I can do it...but honestly...I don't think that's why. I would have picked something more productive...like - lose 5 pounds by the end of August.

I'm also sighing because I feel so tired of caring about so many things. Sometimes I wish I didn't. I wish the most important thing in the world was just to be alive. Just the very act of it...but I sit there and attach so much other criteria to what being alive means. That - makes things difficult.

If only meaning can be summed up in the following things:

1) Having perfectly manicured nails all the time
2) Having the best bronze
3) Wearing the best lip gloss
4) Coordinating the most fabulous outfits
5) Having super long and flirty eyelashes

Wait...why can't I believe these are the "only" important things?

Sigh.